I think I have a way of alienating myself. I think I always have a scenario planted in my head at how things are and if it falls short of expectations I get frustrated and sulk (usually in my head ;p ). Although being in London now, living in the middle of the city, sometimes feels like I'm still in Sydney. I think I have fabulous ideas about things to do, places to see, etc, but always ends up going awry. And there are times when I am stuck at home feeling like there's no one to go out with etc and I reeeaallly want to get out!! Starting to wonder if I'm as stubborn as I rumour myself to be! Or do I just watch too much TV and attempt to imitate things that looks cool?!
Anyway, it's always tempting when someone offers to do something, but as much as I may enjoy it and perhaps want it, just know that I shouldn't be. I may need to remove myself from here too.... hmmm... New York? I thought coming to London was a good fresh start but things really do have a way of catching up to you... or following you. Then I thought I was having fun and things were progressing along, but at the end of the day, does feel like being back in Sydney, never really in control and confused. And it's still me & the boys! (or toys...) I think I keep getting myself in all sorts of situations that isn't constructive. Need. To. Stop. Trying to figure out how not to succumb to temptation or wants that merely is short term satisfaction. Someone offers and sends out invites now, but once you sign up, the determination dwindles and it's back to home alone on a Friday night, ironing on a Saturday night and tv dinners on Sunday night (ok, maybe not tv dinners, that's one thing I've stopped since being here... they don't have Lean Cuisine!! ;p ) I think I need to pursue a hobby. One that doesn't rely on someone like ballroom dancing. Maybe I'll go for a walk with my SLR more often...